12.25.2008

My Gift to Society, as it were

Often I sit here and wonder what I have to offer.  Often I sit here and imagine my purpose.  And often times, I do not get a satisfying answer.  I get down on myself when I see a dream undergo trials.

I look into a field.  It is beautiful.  It has green grass, rolling hills, a grove of trees on the side.  And the sun smiling down on me.  And then I see the ground open beneath, expunging putrid smoke into the sky.  The trees burn into a smoldering rubble.  Grass burns, leaving a trail of black across the scene.  An explosion of red bursts into the heavens, causing the sky to run in fear.

Do you ever feel that?  You have the review, that test, the experience that takes your dream and smashes them to bits.  And I want to so badly believe that it's not the end.  I want to believe that failure can be salvaged, and dreams may still be procured.

The lodgepole pine tree requires intense heat to release the seeds from the cones and reproduce.  Commonly, forest fires will cause this.  These fires often devestate acres and acres of land.  But without this, the lodgepole pines would be stuck to rot, surrounding by other foliage that is just taking up space.

Do you see it?

Yes, it's rough right now.  Yes, you failed at whatever it was.  But everyone has.  And often times a rough time is needed to get rid of the excess that bogs you down.  Fire can destroy, but it can also bring life forth.

In this life, I dream for many things.  And many of them I will not get.  But some of them I will.  And my goal is to keep my dreams as close to reality as possible.  Life can live up to a dream, but if the dreams are small, then life will be even smaller.  I dream big in hopes of hitting something.  I hope often.  I dream big.  And someday a dream will come true.  And it will be the best day of my life.

Sometimes...often times...it's ok if a dream does not come true.  Sometimes it's not the dream itself that I need or desire.  Sometimes it is the journey that I require.

Maybe I said nothing.  Maybe I said something.  I don't think it matters what I said.  I think what matters is what you heard.