4.06.2009

I call it a Valley

Thought:
You know what it's like to be excited for something?  To have this feeling of dedication that you would go all in for something, even when it is high commitment and time consuming?  

As difficult as the task may be, it is relatively easy to abide by extremes.  Whether it is extreme passion (such as moving to a third world country and becoming a doctor) or extreme apathy (sitting at home and doing little more than going about your business), once you take that first step it is easy to stay the course.

But what I've always found to be most difficult is the area between.  What about when all your choices do not revolve around your passion, but they are still important?

Here's another way of looking at it that may make more sense.  Often times I feel like I'm just going by on my daily life, doing the best I can (whatever that even means).  But I'm just...here.  I know there is more I could be doing, but I don't know how to do it.  Or more often, I can't do it yet.  Currently I'm saving to buy a well.  But it's $2000 and I don't have the money to just dish out for that.
Or
I have plans for how I'm going to teach some day.  Key phrase: "some day."  I can't do it now.  I still have over two years before I (hopefully) get my piece of paper that cost a small nation's income.  Ideally I will then get a job and magically become the best math teacher that has ever existed.

But that's not right now.  IS there anything right now?

One of my big problems is that I assume that I'll do something later.  I'm not just talking about procrastinating about homework, cleaning, or what other daily things I may have.  I mean big things.  Often times I can't do the thing at the moment (for example, I can't start teaching math in a school today...I need a degree first), but I don't feel like I'm doing anything.

I hope this is making sense.

Here we go.  Mountains.  High and exciting.  Those are our goals.  But between most mountains are valleys.  Mountains go up.  Valleys go down.  Often you get to a valley by going down a mountain.  Valley's are not bad in themselves.  But there is more to life than a valley.  There are many people who find a mountain range and make themselves a nice community in the valley.  But what I like is the guy who builds his shack on the mountain.  Or even better: on top of it.

So my question is this, I guess: what do we do with the valleys?  Do we embrace them as a rest before the ascent?  Do we get through them quickly to climb the mountains?  Or do we stay there?

I try to get through the valley and make the best of that time, but still always remember that there is a mountain ahead of me.  But always I move quickly and efficiently, so I may avoid the avalanches.

I realize that this post was a bit all over the place.  But I hope it made sense.  Because many times I do get lost in the valleys, when I feel like I should be doing SOMEthing...but I don't know what.  Not that I am lost (though that is the case at times), but that I feel like I shouldn't just be going through my valley.  I feel like I should be climbing...no...sprinting up that mountain.  And when I get to the top, I want to look out of the land that I have conquered and remember how hard and worthwhile it was.  I want to laugh at the mountain and say "Surely you could have put up more of a challenge than that!"  When the wind threatens to blow me off, I will taunt it in hopes that it will blow just a little harder.  And when nature gives up, I will enjoy my view point and bask in the Sunlight from the sky, smiling as I remember good times.