6.15.2009

Victory

I have always struggled with apathy. When I get motivated to do something, I jump on it because I know the desire won't last. This summer has been great because I've really worked hard to stop WANTING to do things and just...doing them. I've tried to stop being so wishy-washy and just doing it. I haven't played piano in....years. Maybe since I was eleven. But I decided that I wanted to learn Bethena Waltz by Scott Joplin. So I'm doing it. Yes its slow. Yes, its hard for me. But slowly...surely...I am learning that song.

What happens at the end? When we achieve our goal...what have we? Do we get anything from winning, besides a trophy, a pat on the back, and ice cream after the game?

I recently beat Assassin's Creed. I enjoyed it. But at the end of the game...it was over. I had won! I had beaten the game! But there was nothing afterwards.

When I ask people about their future, I often ask "and then what?" to a ridiculous degree.
"I'm going to school." "For what?" "[stuff]" "What will you do with that?" "Get a job." "And then...?" "[Blah]" "I see...then what?"

What comes next? When we get our jobs...we have won! We got a job! But then what? We get paid. And then what? We buy stuff. Awesome. And when we have stuff...what do we do with stuff?

Do you see what happens here? If there ever is an end to this sadistic carousel in life, it usually results in buying something. Which will (at best) wear out or (at worst) we will get tired of it. What is victory without a reward that matters? What DOES matter? What will continue on forever and will not wear out in this life? What thing will never make us bored?

Should we settle for less, for things in this life? Should we settle for premature and material rewards? Or is victory in itself enough to sustain?

Not for me. Victory is a means by which I can get something or somewhere.
But for you....what is victory and why does it matter?